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JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT FANFICTION REALLY ISN'T ALL THAT SERIOUS...

THIS WAS COMPLIED A FEW YEARS AGO ON THE JADE-SKYWALKER YAHOO! GROUP AND I FIGURED SINCE I STARTED IT, I COULD POST IT HERE. IT'S PRETTY FUNNY, JUST DON'T DRINK WHILE YOU'RE READING IT:

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ACKBAR: HIS DESTINATION WAS A 2 METER LONG PARKING SPACE ON THE OTHER SIDE.

BERU: ALL HIS FRIENDS HAD GONE TO THE ACADEMY, IT WAS TIME TO LET HIM GO TOO!

HAN: TO PICK UP HIS CAR, HE THOUGHT LANDO HIS FIXED IT! IT'S NOT HIS FAULT!

KELL TAINER: WHICH CHICKEN DO WE BLOW UP NEXT?

LEIA: I CAN'T REMEMBER, BUT SOMEHOW, I THINK I'VE LAWAYS KNOWN...

LUKE: *whine* HE WANTED TO GO TO THE TOCHIE STATTION TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS!

MARA: BLAST IT CHICKEN, STAY OFF THE ROAD!

MARA: HANG ON A MINUTE...I'LL CROSS WITH YOU.

PALPATINE: YOU WILL CROSS THE ROAD!

MARA: NO! NOT LIKE THAT! MY DECISIONS! MY REASONS!

OBI-WAN (TO ANAKIN IN A REPREMANDING TONE): THIS CHICKEN IS YOUR LIFE!

OBI-WAN: IF STURCK BY A CAR, HE WOULD BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

OBI-WAN: HE WAS A GOOD CHICKEN. BUT ANOTHER CHICKEN - DARTH CHICKEN - BETRAYED AND MURDERED HIM - IT HIT THE THRUSTERS THOUGH IT SAW HIM CROSSING THE STREET.

PADMÉ: I'M NOT AFRIAD TO CROSS THE ROAD. I'VE BEEN DYING A LITTLE EACH DAY SINCE YOU CAME BACK INTO MY LIFE. 

PALPATINE: TO WATCH HIS PETTY REBEL FLEET BE DESTROYED!

R2D2: TWEEDLE DEE DO *BEEP* DOOIT? (HOW IN THE *BEEP* SHOULD  I KNOW?)

VADER: HE WOULD CROSS OR DIE MASTER..

WES: HE WAS ON THE LEADER.

YODA: CROSS, OR DO NOT CROSS. THERE IS NO TRY.

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SO I LOOKED FOR HOURS TRYING TO FIND A SUITBLE FUNNY SOMETHING OR OTHER ABOUT HARRY POTTER FANFICTION AND CAME UP WITH TWO CONCLUSIONS:

1. EITHER JKR DID EVERYTHING RIGHT AND THERE WAS NO NEED FOR FANFICTION IN THE FIRST PLACE

OR

2. I WASN'T LOOKING HARD ENOUGH

I CHOSE THE SECOND OPTION AND CONTINUED TO LOOK UNTIL I WAS ABLE TO BRING YOU THIS...

FOUND THIS ON SUGARQUILL.COM AND WAS LAUGHING MYSELF SILLY, THOUGHT I'D SHARE WITH THE 2 OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T VISITED THAT SITE YET:

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The Sugar Quill's Daily Affirmations
[These Daily Affirmations were created in jest. Please enjoy them with a sense of humor]
  • "HARRY AND HERMIONE" IS A RIDICULOUS IMPOSSIBILITY. HARRY IS ALLOWED TO DATE CHO, BUT WILL END UP WITH GINNY.
  • THE WEASLEY FAMILY RULES (ESPECIALLY RON, WHOM IT WOULD BE OKAY TO LUST AFTER OUTWARD IN THE SEVENTH YEAR - FOR US OLDER GALS)
  • HERMIONE IS NOT WHINY. SHE IS A BIT BOSSY BUT SHE IS SO SMART THAT SHE DESERVES TO BE.
  • RON IS A BOY. A TEENAGE BOY. HE'S INSECURE AND JEALOUS SOMETIMES, BUT HE ISNOT A BAD PERSON. NOT A DOUBLE AGENT OR A POTENTIAL DEATH EATER OF ANY KIND. HE HAD A FIGHT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. IT HAPPENS, IT'S NORMAL. IT'S A PART OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. HE WILL GROW UP. CHILL.
  • HERMIONE AND RON ALSO DO NOT FIGHT TO THE POINT OF TEARS EVERY DAY. SOMETIMES THEY ARE NICE.
  • GINNY IS A GIL, A YOUNG GIRL. YES SHE GIGGLES ON OCCASION. YES, SHE HAS A CRUSH ON HARRY AND YES, SHE GOT INTO TROUBLE WITH RIDDLE'S DIARY. THAT DOES NOT MAEN SHE'S USELESS, SHALLOW, STUPID OF OTHERWISE UNTRUSTWORTHY OF HARRY'S ATTENTION. IT MEANS SHE'S YOUNG AND THAT SHE NEEDS MORE DEVELOPMENT. THIS IS ALREADY SCHEDUALED TO BEGIN IN BOOK FIVE. JKR HAS THE MATTER WELL IN HAND. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN. ADDEDD JUNE 28, 2003 - OOTP HAS CONFIRMED THAT WE INTERPERATED WISELY.
  • DRACO AND HERMIONE - WHAT IS WITH THAT? DRACO AND GINNY? HUMM...SEE THE FIRST AFFIRMATION.
  • RON WILL NOT BETRAY HARRY.
  • DUMBLEDORE IS NO MORE LIKELY TO BE EVIL THAN SNAPE IS TO ADOPT HARRY.
  • SMART GIRLS CHOOSE RON.
  • HERMIONE SHALL HAVE SLEEK STRAIGHT HAIR, OR WONDERFULLY WAVY HAIR ONLY WHEN IT IS EXPRESSLY MENTIONED THAT SHE WORKED EXTRA HARD ON IT, AS IT IS IN CONNON. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS IT TO SIMPLY MORPH THROUGH THE YEARS.
  • REMUS/TONX? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? TONX ROX. REMUS ROX. BUT TOGETHER THEY FALL ASLEEP.

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Collected Fanfiction works of Liisa